Daily Elite Daily #9

If You Have Savings In Your 20s, You’re Doing Something Wrong by Lauren Martin on Sept. 16, 2015 (suggested subtitle: Throw away your life! Have fun NOW and live in despair once you’re 30!)

I don’t know about you, but I like to enjoy my life.

You’re right, you don’t know about me. I, like everyone in the world except you, don’t like to enjoy my life.

This goes back to a piece of advice a very successful friend gave me: “Don’t save money. Make more money,” he nonchalantly stated, pushing me into a taxi.

He’s a successful friend because he states things instead of saying them.

Before this piece of advice, I was frantic. I was always doubting and always feeling guilty. I lived in the most exciting city in the world (also the most expensive) and had yet to experience it.

This confusingly vague advice coming from a likely very privileged friend was enough to completely cure her.

I was trying to save, which meant trying not to eat. I wasn’t going out with friends, had yet to go to a club and had never seen the inside of a taxi.

You are not truly a person of the world until you’ve seen the inside of a taxi.

I couldn’t enjoy my life because I was too busy worrying about my bank statement. I was too busy watching my savings instead of savoring my youth.

And it’s that kind of snappy wordplay that got you this job, Ms. Martin.

When did our 20s start to feel like our 40s? When did we get weighed down with the same pressure and stresses as a woman with four kids and a second mortgage?

Things “we” don’t have in common with a woman with four kids and a second mortgage: four kids, a second mortgage.

I’ve recently figured it out: This pressure, this third-party stress, is ingrained within us.

You did it! Where thousands of years of human thought has failed, you have swooped in and solved our problems! It’s all over, no need to write anything further.

But like most things our parents have ingrained in us, we must consciously work to push it out. Because while they may have the best intentions, they don’t always have the best insight.

You heard her, folks; push out your urges to help around the house, be kind to people, etc.

They want us to save because it provides us with a safety net, but that’s exactly why we shouldn’t. Their need for us to have a safety net is just a giant metaphor for the difference between our parent’s generation and ours.

The difference between our parent’s generation and ours, or yours?

They were getting married at 20 while we’re just getting our first apartments.

BREAKING: Things were different a few decades ago.

We’re taking our time growing up, refusing to be shackled by mortgages and diapers.

I’m glad you’ve grown out of diapers, Ms. Martin.

We’re not trying to live with safety nets; we’re trying to live on the edge.

Wouldn’t you rather live on the edge with a safety net? What if you fall?

When you live your life around your retirement fund, you may as well retire now. You can’t make a mark on the world if you’re too cheap to live in it.

Money-free solution to this problem: break off a tree branch and make a mark in the dirt.

People who are saving in their 20s are people who don’t set their sights high. They’ve already dropped out of the game and settled for the minor leagues.

  1. If they’re saving in their 20s for a mansion later on, are they still setting their sights low?
  2. Technically you’re still a part of the game if you’re in the minor leagues.

$200 a month isn’t going to make the dent that a $60,000 pay raise will after spending all those nights out networking.

So far this is the first she’s mentioned of somehow finding a high-paying job to fund these hedonistic sprees.

You’d be surprised at how cautious people get with just a few thousand in the bank. This isn’t the time to safeguard — it’s the time to bet all your chips and hope to make it big.

And if you lose?

When you live your life by numbers, you strip yourself of poetry

???

What memorable experience does money in the bank give you?

Knowing you have enough money to live?

How well-rounded can people become sitting at home, watching their limited funds gain interest?

Is that what non-funded people do now?

Life is to be lived, not watched from the inside of your rent-controlled apartment.

If the “life to be lived” outside is a family of bears, I’m staying inside my goddamn rent-controlled apartment.

When you’re acutely aware of your mortality, it makes spending money that much easier. Those who don’t plan for the future aren’t planning for their death.

Maybe not consciously…

It’s good to be cautious and plan for unexpected events.

What? Is this reason I’m seeing?

It’s also good, however, to learn how to release and destress. Everything works out, and if you’re smart, able and had a job once, you’ll have one again.

Stressing and de-stressing will help pay off those student loans!

When you’re 40, you’re not going to look back on your 20s and be grateful for the few thousand you saved. You’re going to be full of regret.

If I’m living in a mansion in my 40s I will not regret saving a fucking penny.

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