I guess the rest of my life has started

I’m feeling far too restless to focus on a fixed topic for today’s topic. The last few days have really been a full-on roller coaster.

When I finished my exam on Friday, I was feeling relieved for it all to be done and over with. It felt even better when I headed over to the Eaton Centre to pick up the remaining two books missing from my complete collection of Haruki Murakami’s works.

And then the weekend began, which was a bit of a downer. It was a frustrating two days. I somehow, miraculously, had the entire weekend off from work, so I assumed that would make my weekend relaxing. It wasn’t. There’s a weird kind of tension in my house when my mom isn’t around (she was with my grandparents for the weekend; my family has been doing sort of rotating shifts to help out with my grandmother, who had a stroke about a month ago). I’m not sure precisely what the tension is, but to me it’s an air of not caring. It’s as though, despite my dad, brother and I all being present, my dad was basically in a different world most of the time.

Saturday I cooked my first meal in a while, which felt good (I cooked because I basically had to; my dad never volunteers to cook when it’s just the three of us). It wasn’t a terribly difficult thing to cook, but I liked it. It was penne with peppers, which is basically made up of exactly what it sounds like. plus some basil (I accidentally got sage but it didn’t make the flavour bad) and I melted some mozzarella on top.

That night I had three shows to choose to go to and I ended up choosing none based on their locations. I felt kind of bad about that, although apparently at least two of those three didn’t quite go as nicely as they should have.

When Sunday rolled around, I had finally finished my first podcast for the Toronto Star writer I’ve been working with. It hasn’t gone up yet so I don’t want to give too much away, but I’m pretty proud of it and it should be up on Wednesday or Thursday. Unfortunately after that my mood worsened a little more.

It got a ton better yesterday night, though, when I went to another Crosswires show. At this point I feel like an unofficial Crosswires insider, which is a good feeling. I’m beginning to know more and more people that I can say hi to and chat with for a while. All the performances last night were really cool as well. I especially loved the joyous energy of Fitness Club Fiasco, although I did like the industrial-ish noise of Pale Eyes and the weird experimentation of former NOW music editor Benjamin Boles.

Today, though, I’m feeling pretty good. I was happy to see Maylee Todd linking to my raving review of her record Escapology (seriously: go listen to/buy it now) and a musician who read my review in turn sent me her own stuff, which is also really cool.

Now is the point where I begin really looking for jobs out there, lest I endure any more “So what are you doing now that you’ve graduated?” questions. But I’m feeling much more optimistic about it now than I was on Friday, so that’s a plus.

Tomorrow I have a bit more free time, so I’m going to try and settle down enough for a new short story. I’ve got a few ideas kicking around in my head but I need to focus on one and then think about how I’m going to go about writing it.


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